Wifey voted APC and regrets it. There is no light, there is no water. She wan complain? No! Na who go even listen? All she mutters nowadys is “Baba Buhari don travel again”. And then she shakes her head while looking at me. I will always say nothing. Na me APC people wan take settle their matter? E no go work.
Since the APC has ensured that we will no longer chop tomatoes, I cooked a green stew. Don’t ask me how it is done, wait until I publish my cooking book.
My Sonia is a light eater and she “bites” two spoons and leaves the table. I like food, so I tuck in. Nowadays, you eat as much as possible, because the APC people may wake up and decide that we should not eat again.
She goes into her bedroom to do what am not sure of, but am sure that later I will see empty packs of Hollandia Yoghurt and Super Bites. Kai! Women!
Moments later, she saunters into the living room, I am watching Mohammed Ali on CNN, I am not too sure who he is or what he does, maybe he is Buhari’s brother too. Because I don’t understand how he becomes popular and well liked simply because he punches everyone around him. He must be an APC man o. In the APC, you punch innocent people and you become popular. Just like that.
My Sonia is looking well fed and happy with crumbs of things around her mouth (Babe enjoyed something nice while I ate my greenish stew abi?), and says in her bedroom voice, “Mr Aikay, you should go to the barber’s shop for a hair cut, you know you look nice when your hair is cut low.”
“I never won barb am.”
“Don’t tell me you want to weave it then.”
So, I picked my clipper and headed to Salisu’s shop. There is no light. Salisu cannot afford N145 per liter fuel. And if he does, I cannot afford to pay N500 for a haircut.
I go home whining, my Sonia has a solution for everything. You wan try African Romance?
Happy New Month folks…
– Aikay Moustapha (June 5, 2016)